Just For Fun

Just For Fun

MEMORIE just for us older folks.

A little house with three bedrooms and one car on the street,
A mower that you had to push to make the grass look neat.

In the kitchen on the wall we only had one phone,

And no need for recording things, someone was always home.

We only had a living room where we would congregate,
Unless it was at mealtime in the kitchen where we ate.

We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine,
When meeting as a family those two rooms would work out fine.

We only had one TV set, and channels maybe two,

But always there was one of them with something worth the view.

For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip,
And if you wanted flavor there was Lipton's onion dip.

Store-bought snacks were rare because my mother liked to cook,

And nothing can compare to snacks in Betty Crocker's book.

Weekends were for family trips or staying home to play,
We all did things together -- even go to church to pray.

When we did our weekend trips depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because we liked to be together.

Sometimes we would separate to do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were without our own
cell phone.

Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star,
And nothing can compare to watching movies in your car.

Then there were the picnics at the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees and never need a reason.

Get a baseball game together with all the friends you know,
Have real action playing ball -- and no game video.

Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend,
And didn't need insurance or a lawyer to defend?

The way that he took care of you or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath and strived to do the best for you.

Remember going to the store and shopping casually, And
when you went to pay for it you used your own money?

Nothing that you had to swipe or punch in some amount,
Remember when the cashier person had to really count?

The milkman used to go from door to door,

And it was just a few cents more than going to the store.

There was a time when mailed letters came right to your door,

Without a lot of junk mail ads sent out by every store.

The mailman knew each house by name and knew where it was sent;

There were not loads of mail addressed to "present occupant."

There was a time when just one glance was all that it would take,

And you would know the kind of car, the model and the make.

They didn't look like turtles trying to squeeze out every mile;

They were streamlined, white walls, fins, and really had some style.

One time the music that you played whenever you would jive,

Was from a vinyl, big-holed record called a forty-five.

The record player had a post to keep them all in line,

And then the records would drop down and play one at a time.

Oh sure, we had our problems then, just like we do today,
And always we were striving, trying for a better way.

Oh, the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game, just kick the can and run?</ SPAN>

And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle spokes,

And for a nickel red machines had little bottled Cokes?

This life seemed so much easier and slower in some ways,
I love the new technology but I sure miss those days.

So time moves on and so do we, and nothing stays the same,
But I sure love to reminisce and walk down memory lane.

I remember them all and it was a great time to live and really enjoy life.

National Girlfriends Day
What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls?
Let's celebrate each other for each other's sake!

It is good to be a woman:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Hat Lore and Etiquette

http://www.hatladies.org/Brimmingwithideas

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old
is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited
about
aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a
half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going
on
five!

That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You
jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm
gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life . .. . you become 21. Even the
words sound like a ceremony . .. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
bad milk! . He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now,
you're
just a sour-dumpling.
What's wrong?
What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on! the
brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your
dreams are gone. But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you
would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
day-by-day
thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a
complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it
oesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST
92."
ng happens. If you make it over 100, you become a
little
kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle! . " An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
mprove it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

6. A Friend Is Like A Good Bra -- Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!

Thoughts for the weekend

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Subject: 1975

       1975: Long hair
      2005: Longing for hair

      1975: KEG
      2005: EKG

      1975: Acid rock
      2005: Acid reflux

      1975: Moving to California because it's cool
      2005: Moving to California because it's warm

      1975: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
      2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

      1975: Seeds and stems
       2005: Roughage

      1975: Hoping for a BMW
      2005: Hoping for a BM

      1975: The Grateful Dead
      2005: Dr. Kevorkian

      1975: Going to a new, hip joint
      2005: Receiving a new hip joint

      1975: Rolling Stones
      2005: Kidney Stones

      1975: Being called into the principal's office
      2005: Calling the principal's office

      1975: Screw the system
      2005: Upgrade the system

      1975: Disco
      2005: Costco

      1975: Passing the drivers' test
      2005: Passing the vision test

      1975: Whatever
      2005: Depends

      Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly
      change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin
      puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the
      mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

      The people who are starting college this fall
      across the nation were born in 1987. Please remember that:

      They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

      Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

      Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

      The CD was introduced the year before they were born.

      They have always had an answering machine.

      They have always had cable.

      They cannot imagine not having a remote control.

      Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

      Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

      They never took a swim and imagined getting eaten by Jaws.

      They can't imagine what hard contact lenses feel like.

      They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

      They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel",
      or "de plane, Boss, de plane".

      They don't care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even was.

      They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

      Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your
      list. Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have
      trouble reading.

WHY

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in your account?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Do you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Are You Over 40?

You Should be dead- Here's Why

According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40's. 50's and 60's, or may be even the early 70's shouldn't have survived.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead based paint.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets,...and when we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets. (Not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking)

As children, we would ride in cars with no seatbelts or airbags.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle- Horrors!

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always outside playing.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and rode them down the hill, only to find that we had forgotten the brakes. After running into bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. NO CELL PHONES !!! Unthinkable

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo,64, X Boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS. WE WENT OUTSIDE AND FOUND THEM.

We played dodge ball and sometimes the ball really hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there no lawsuits from these accidents. THEY WERE ACCIDENTS. No one was to blame but us.

Remember we had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door, or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms, and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment .

Some students weren't as smart as others, so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. Horrors!

Tests were not adjusted for any reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law. Imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years has seen an explosion of innovations and new ideas. We had the freedom to fail.

Success and responsibility, we learned how to deal with it all. CONGRATULATIONS

We grew up before lawyers and government regulated our lives "for our own good".

PEOPLE UNDER 40 ARE WIMPS!

Whose Recipe Would You Use?

Martha's Way Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Maxine's Way Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Martha's Way To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Maxine's Way Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's Way When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake
Maxine's Way Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's Way If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Maxine's Way If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Martha's Way Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Maxine's Way Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha's Way Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish
Maxine's Way The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Martha's Way Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Maxine's Way Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Martha's Way If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Maxine's Way Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Martha's Way Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Maxine's Way Leftover wine???????? HEL-LO !!!!!

Yes! I'm A Senior Citizen

I'm the life of the party -- even if it lasts until 8PM.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps -- with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.
I'm so cared for -- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.
I'm not really grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Toyota commercials, Tom Brokaw, Dan Rather, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm having trouble remembering simple words like...
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?
I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?
I'm a walking storeroom of facts -- I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.
Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Quirks About Life You Notice By The Time You Are 50:

Most people deserve each other.
All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.
The one who snores will fall asleep first.
The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.
The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos
as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.
Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.
If you help a relative in need, he/she will remember you the next time they are in need.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.
Toothaches always start on Friday night right before the weekend when the Dental Office will be closed.

Top 10 Old Folks' Party Games

10. Musical Recliners
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
8. Hide and Go Pee
7. Simon Says Something Incoherent
6. Doc, Doc Goose
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
4. Kick the Bucket
3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
1. Sag, You're It!

Here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully.

Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too - muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.
Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

Submitted by Richard